12 March, 2009

I Thought I Was Back

Just as I thought things were going to lighten up a bit, well eer, they didn't. Subsequently I've managed to miss our last two games, which is a shame, because they've nicely provided us with two wins, a great position in the table, and a candidate for goal of the season...




The last game I watched, in fact, was a horrible horrible affair - namely losing to Bolton. As you will presumably agree it was tragic; we outplayed them for 87 of the 90 minutes, and yet again just couldn't finish in the final third - I should be used to this by now.

Anyway, the past is the past, and I can't bear to think of that game anymore so on to our next opponents... West Brom.

Brom haven't won in 8, yes that's 8 games, their last recorded victory was back on the 17th of January against our cup friends Middlesbrough, where they suprisingly managed to score 3 goals and concede none at all! Since then they've let in a massive 17 goals in 6 league games, and registered only 5 goals themselves. No surprise then that they are all but dead at the bottom of the league with a -29 goal difference and only 22 points.

Still though, being a West Ham supporter will always leave you with a bit of doubt lurking in the back of your head, and with the recent inclusion of Collison and Behrami to our WWII sized injury list one can't help but think this fixture has potential to upset (we did lose to them in September remember).

But let's not jump off the hope train yet, Savio has been impressing, and i would be surprised if he doesn't get the nod on Monday to replace Collison on the left, and I see no other option than to put in plumber/electrician/all around utility guy Jonathon Spector at right wing. Personally I wouldn't be opposed to chucking in a kid from the academy, but Spector has done alright when needed, and he does have the experiance to step in and play a good level of football without any training wheels.

I'll be optimistic, probably because I haven't listened to radiohead today, and go for a home win, 2-0, one from each of our strikers.

17 February, 2009

I'm Back (again)

As tides of change swept through the fair city of Washington DC this last month and a half or so, similar occurences seem to be underway at West Ham. There's a bright sense of optimism amongst us West Ham fans at the moment, and it's almost contagious. The Zola and Clarke system has finally come to fruition with a string of good results, and a very good showing against Man United that was only undone by 97 year veteran Ryan Giggs. Note to all pundits, please stop telling me that Giggs "takes care of himself," the image has stopped me from sleeping.

But yeah, things look on the up. Carlton has been scoring and was subsequently called up to the England squad, Di Michele has been slightly more trust-worthy with the ball (although he's knackered after not having his half time siesta), Neil is on a diet and has opted for throwing pork pies at attacking players in order to put them off instead of casually eating the pies as the likes of Ronaldo flit past him, and Scott "the torso" Parker is playing his best football in years and should be floating around the fringe of the England set up.

All is well, and we're in good stead at this part of the season to
a) not get relegated
b) hopefully finish in the top half
c) finish above Spurs
and
d) have eyes on Europe through the FA Cup


The FA Cup, I think, is probably as big of a priority this year as the league. Obviously we need to secure the points to stay up, but it does look like there are at least 3 teams that are going to perform worse than us, and so I'm quite comfortable we'll all be watching MoTD next year. Our road to the final of the FA Cup however is only three games away, and we already know two of the three opposition - 'Boro and Everton - both very winnable games (in fact Di Michele should have single handedly beaten 'Boro last weekend). After that will almost definitely be one of the powerhouses - Manc U, Chelscum, or Le Arse - but as a one off game we could certainly pull it off, as we could in the cup final. It almost seems like fate to think that in two of our recent visits to the final we had to go through 'Boro in one, and Everton in the other. Here's to hope.


In other events we face Bolton this weekend which in a perfect world will see the silky passing of the West Ham players undermine the Boltoners, but will most likely end up being a rather boring affair that will cause me a lot of spelling mistakes in the post match round up - unless of course they decide to play British players, like they last did in 1989 when they won the Sherpa Van Trophy (it's all true, I swear). On the up side Wanderers, or Journeymen as they should be called, sport an excellent goal difference of -10, and so even our likely combination of Di Michele and Go Diego Go Tristan should be able to muster up at least a couple of near misses.

Our away record of late has been decent, so I'll take a 1-0 win for us from a Collisson thunder strike. Bolton will come away from this one with every single player in their squad still yet to score - or at least that's what Sky Sports thinks...

More after the game, sorry it's been a while, and COYI!!!

16 December, 2008

You Beauty!

Trolling around YouTube I found this video...if for nothing else watch it for Dicksy's magnificence, and Tim Breaker's impeccable hair! I was at the away fixture for this one, I don't think we did so well that night...but 5 goals at UP is always a treat, enjoy!


14 December, 2008

Stamford Bridge Is Falling Down?

Our boys produced a brilliant display today to come away from Stanford Bridge with a well deserved point. The London derby had a great pace and tempo about it right from the off, and our boys dug deep and pulled out quite a heroic display that against less formidable opponents would have seen us pick up all three points.

Chelski deserved the lions share of possession, but the gritty performance from every West Ham player ensured that we only gave up one goal, and only one or two truly good opportunities for the home team...and for the first time in I believe 2 months one of our strikers featured on the score sheet...well done Bellars, the effort has been there but sadly the goals haven't - I hope you put together a run of goals from this point.

A mention must go out to Sky Sports commentary again today, if I have to hear for one more season that Wankard and Cole used to play for us I may have to come to your offices with a gun. Also, you're right, our Cole and Parker used to play for Chelsea. Wow we really must be Chelsea's rejects like you were suggesting. Why do you hate us? I just don't get it. Is Tony Cottee shagging all of your wives over there so you take it out on the team? Anytime you'd like to clear that up would be great.

Anyway...

Oh West ham why did I ever doubt you? As soon as I start slagging us off you come around and make me look like a fool. This team causes schizophrenia.


Player Ratings

Greeny - Great display from Rob, lost the ball in the lights once, and maybe could have come off the line quicker for their goal, but really solid everywhere else. He was brilliant at claiming crosses, and made some superb reaction saves yet again today. - 7.5

Neil - Much better, I mean not 100k a week more better or whatever he wants, but better. Dealt well with everything down the right, and actually looked good going forward as well always looking for the open man. - 7

Upson - We really need a song for him just to show our love. Absolutely solid, I don't remember him losing a single battle. My shout for the armband I have to say. - 8

Davenport - I was surprised to see him start, and I'm still not sure where ginge was today, but he did really well, throwing his body at everything on the floor and in the air. Every time he goes after the ball with his head though I have to wince, with his history he certainly is a brave headerer, and always a threat on corners. Witness him here brilliantly going up against John Terry. - 8

Ilunga - Not as much of a threat up the left today, but did his defencive duties well. One outstanding tackle stoping what surely would have been a goal. - 7

Defence Overall: Very good. In the centre we looked quite formidable, and if we can keep their fitness and form up then we can start improving from the back forward. - 8

Collison - Nowhere to be found in the first half, methinks this may because he's more of a central midfielder, but got tucked in in the second half and showed some nice touches. This kid needs to be a regular, and off of today's showing he may be a threat to Faubert. - 7

Noble - Looked like Noble of old, good passing, gritty, and determined. Picked up the assist for Bellars' goal with some great determination and persistence. we need this Noble to show up every week. 7.5

Parker - Bounds of energy, tireless, gritty, keep going. Brilliant. The heart of our team dictating movement through playing people in, and first one back making all the tackles. Inspiring stuff. 8.5

Behrami - He grows on me more and more every time I see him play, his work rate is second to none. He's constantly biting at peoples ankles and looking to turn defence into attack. Another solid performance today, and put through Cole at the end with a good ball in a move that could have seen us take the spoils. 7.5

Midfield Overall: Shut down the shop, really covered Wankard and Cole very well. Their work rate was very impressive, we were quick in to tackle, and passed the ball out well from deep. 8

Bellamy - Took his chance very well, and it was nice to see his continued effort finally pay off for him. The ref today paid him no favours and he was called on several "fouls" - most notably the so-called foul on Terry when he was dead through on goal, but regardless he continued to work and cause trouble. 8

Cole - Was useless in the first half, couldn't keep possession and seemed to be bumbling about. Another one the ref paid no favours too, he was whistled every two minutes for just being a big guy, and harshly picked up a yellow. Second half was much better for him with him coming out of tackles with the ball more often than not. He still needs to know when to pass the ball however, and my God Gianfranco should give him some shooting practice - he missed a great chance at the end. 7

Forwards Overall: Good work rate and good tempo. Bellars' pace troubled Chelski, and in the second half Cole's strength came good. Both were unfairly treated by the ref. 7.5

Subs

Mullins - Came on for Noble, made some good challenges, and was right up to speed from the go. Good showing. 6

LBM - Not good, not bad, touched the ball a maximum of 4 times. -3

Di Michele - Used to run down the clock Zola knows it takes him about 4 minutes to get from the bench to the byline. - n/a



Very happy then with a point, and a good one too, we battled and created some nice chances for ourselves, and were rarely troubled by a stacked Chelski team. Also, just wanted to mention our fans today were excellent and out sang the Chelski lot all day - i particularly enjoyed the one that went something like "Shall we sing a song for you," genius, and just so they knew why we were singing that we followed it up with "your support is fucking shit" - so true.

Next up is Villa which promises to be an entertaining affair. It's a very winnable game, but we will have to put in the effort to grind it out. I think 4 points from the next two games would be a decent goal to set.

13 December, 2008

I Was In 'Nam, Tottenham That Is

I'm glad that I don't have Setanta, otherwise I would have had to watch West Ham lose to Spurs last Monday. Fortunately for me though I'm poor, and Setanta is expensive, and as an afterthought it may also get taken off of my Christmas wish list due to the fact that we are now so bad that watching us on it will undoubtedly send me into a spiral of massive depression; couple that with my love of alcohol and Radiohead and you can see suicide wouldn't be too far away. Being poor saves my life again.

Seriously though, 2-0, at home, to Spurs, off of the back of 3 clean sheets? Ridiculous. And even though I didn't watch the game I'll take a wild guess that we didn't cross the ball, we looked uninventive going forward, our strikers don't seem like they will ever score, and Collisson yet again doesn't get a run out after looking like our most creative player. Come close to it?!

Uuugh, well looking forward isn't all that great either with Chelsea tomorrow, Villa coming up, and a tough trip away to Portsmouth after that. We could well see ourselves with a terrible goal difference, 0 points picked up, and no confidence left in the team by New Year's. I think I may take a punt on our strikers not scoring until possibly Stoke too.


Anyway...two things made me laugh this week that I'd like to draw your attention to, and both were on KUMB. Firstly, Gianluca Nani has hailed David Di Michele as a "great player" hahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahahhahaha, that is absolutely hilarious. Di Michele is at best a Championship player who is old, pedestrian, and shows no sign of passion (or life for that matter) whatsoever. Every time he has graced us with his presence I have been flabbergasted at the rate in which he seems to lose the ball. Gianluca, you'd be better off just saying "hands up, I signed him, it hasn't worked out." How stupid do you think we are? All you have to do is to have seen one game this year he's featured in and you can tell he's crap. Even in the game where he scored two goals he didn't impress.

Secondly, Luis Boa Morte is actually confused as to why he is not getting games!!!!! Luis, states "I cannot hide that I would like to play more, I have no idea why I am not played more...Every time the coach played me, I did well on the pitch, which is why I wish I played more often." I laughed so hard at this that my balls hurt. Luis, let me clue you in, you're crap, you give the ball away, never keep things simple, can't shoot as has been witnessed far too many times but notably against Liverpool recently, get booked too much, can't cross, can't take anyone on, and generally just take up space. Your public outcry won't win you any fans either you whining twat...WHU F.C. please offload this idiot in January.



In other news my last poll has closed; the poll asked what number you had as a kid on the back of your West Ham shirt, the results were as follows...
1) Numbers 3, 10, and 11
2) Numbers 1, 4, and 9
3) All others

Thanks for taking part, my own personal vote went to number 3 for good old Dicksy, I used to love him.

Well I hope better news is around the corner, or at the very least LBM keeps making ridiculous public statements, it just puts that Christmas cheer in my heart.

04 December, 2008

I Should Stop Writing

Sorry for not posting in quite some time, I've been busy, and to be completely overly dramatic let's say "life' got in the way. Anyway my sabbatical has reaped huge benefits for West Ham, so I can't complain. That's now three clean sheets in a row, count them I dare you, three, this is mad. Greeny has been impeccable, Ginge has been an absolute force, and Upson has been his usual rock self. Things are looking up.

So bring on Spurs; it should be an interesting encounter with all of the usual fire that this fixture brings. I personally will be interested to see how H is received back at UP.

Of course no post would be complete without some kind of downer, so here we go......when was the last time one of our strikers scored a goal?
- Carlton Cole vs Bolton, 5 October 2008.

Dear dear.

10 November, 2008

Zoroastrianism Is More Believable Than What Happened On Saturday

I can't possibly go into detail about Saturday's game; never have I seen us outplay a team so convincingly and lose a game in a massive 4 minutes. All I know is that after we scored the game was calling out for Mullins to bolster the midfield, and we sat back and let Everton come at us instead of retaining possession and closing the game out. We played well for about 75 minutes, and that's all I can really bring myself to say.

Here's some funny animal photos that my Mum sent me...

Craig Bellamy is obviously unhappy at the service that he has been getting. Oftentimes he feels stranded up front, opting to come back to midfield to help with the tackling, and the tracking, and all the un-fun things that strikers don't normally tend to.


Young Freddy Sears has done well, contesting with bigger and more experienced opposition. The boy needs a couple of goals under his belt and I think he'll start to gain enough confidence to push on and cement a starting place for himself.



Here's Lucas Neill burying a few happy meals and pork pies for later. This never used to be necessary, but with Dean Ashton having so much spare time on his hands lately, Neill has had to turn to extreme precautions to secure his staple diet.


Ilunga has been a dominant force down the left, here he is on Saturday knocking the piss out of Louis Boa Morte in order to stop Louis from attempting to play football - best choice he's ever made.


Greeny and Upson are ecstatic that they are still in the England squad even though they haven't managed to keep a clean sheet since the game versus the Academy's under 5's team way back in December.


Witness the Everton offence slowly moving in on the hapless Lucas Neill and Julian Faubert. Largely unseen for 80 minutes because they had been napping, but now fully awake and ready to pounce.


Here's Matthew Etherington in his natural environment in no-mans-land. As you can see Etherington is fully enjoying his new found freedom by bounding endlessly in a baron wasteland of space. Free of responsibility or commitments Etherington is enjoying what John Locke may have called man's state of nature. Locke would have also agreed that Ethers is again deserving of this weeks WHEFT Award.