The game has been over all of about 5 minutes, and such is my outrage that I feel compelled to write, so please observe the many knee jerk reactions that are to follow.
Firstly let me say R.I.P. to Sky Sports commentary, any journalistic integrity and impartiality that you once may have had has been demolished in an instant by tonight's commentary - I suppose I shouldn't expect too much considering that this is a company owned by the crook Rupert Murdock, and hires the likes of nitwit Andy Gray, and a buffoon such as Chris Kamara. But seriously, how much can one station love Man U? There were constant references to "the big four" every time Man Utd. broke away and you'd think they could do no evil. Whilst we on the other hand were obviously "brittle" and "lacking confidence because of three straight losses on the trot." Had we not have played some of our most determined and courageous football in a long time only three days prior they may have had a point, had we not come out at Old Trafford and try and play a West Ham passing game they may have had a point. But their whole theory of us being a shaky team off of the back of three defeats was completely unfounded, yet they persisted in letting their audience know where they stood on that matter. Well, we're used to negative comments from the media by now so I'll move on.
Us
We put in a decent showing, not as good as the Arsenal game, but Man Utd. had closed us out by the end of the first half. The same problems persist however, as our movement and passing in the final third is nowhere near the level that it should be - a year ago no one would have uttered the words "we missed Carlton Cole", but with out him today we had no front man to aim at besides Bellamy, and were even more reluctant than normal to put the ball into the box from the wing.
Team Analysis
Green: Had no chance on either goal, made some good saves, still without a clean sheet since 1754AD. 6.5
Faubert: Decent going forward but not a right back. He gets caught out of position constantly, and forgets to follow his man off of one-twos far too often. However, he is the only person at the moment willing to cross the ball. 5.5
Upson: Business as usual for Matty. Played well but could have closed down the ball across for the first Ronaldo goal a lot quicker. 6
Ginge: Got absolutely skinned by the ex-spud for United's second goal, but what defender wouldn't? Aside from that pretty solid, and looked amazingly up to pace yet again. Neil may have to eat him or sit on him to get back in side. 6
Ilunga: Really should have tracked Ronaldo's movement better on his second goal but was caught staring at him. Apart from that had a tricky time with my new youngest clown-hair-esque hated player Rafael. Did decent though, and got forward a lot with no help from Etherington in the first half, and and too much interference from Boa Morte in the second half. 6
Behrami: Played ok, was scrappy and got stuck in. His passing could be better though, and as soon as he had won the ball he'd pass it away to opposition. Hope he's not injured. 5.5
Mullins: Always was going to have a tough game playing anchor in a three man midfield against Man U, but did as good as he probably could have. I don't recall him losing the ball, and he made a couple of good tackles. 6.5
Bowyer: Lee has no broken his personal best by going two games without receiving a yellow card, I guess Zola's temperament is rubbing off on someone. His age is showing though, he has very little pace and was caught out a few times by the United midfield. Kept it fairly tight though, and hopefully he's not injured either after jarring his knee. 5.5
Bellamy: Again not being used properly, if you're going to use anyone on the left wing it may as well be Etherington. He can't take people on either; we need to put him at the top of the line and feed the ball in front of him to get the most out of him. Work rate was good though. 5.5
Di Michele: Absolutely rubbish, completely pedestrian, would look more comfortable with a zimmer than a football. He gives the ball away almost every time, he throws an arm up when he loses the ball instead of playing to the whistle, he refused shoot when he had a clear opening, and tries to shoot when he doesn't. Please drop him for Sears who will at least attempt to make runs and gt in good positions. Would be the "Was He Even Fucking There" (WHEFT) award recipient for this game if not for the fact that he was highly noticeable - mainly because about 2 seconds after he received the ball I would be screaming at the TV about the fact that he had lost it yet again. 3
Etherington: Matty is today's WHEFT Award recipient after vanishing somewhere in Old Trafford's infamous Bermuda Triangle region. If you see him please call 888-MISSING, he was last spotted scuffing a shot about 25 yards out from goal. 0.5
Subs
Boa Morte: What a waste of space, never plays the simple ball, and generally just gets in the way. Had a great chance when the ball was lifted over their defence but instead of bringing the ball down and composing himself with the 3 years of time he had, he decided to let the ball hit his foot and mosey into the keeper's arms. -4
Collison: Looked decent and not intimidated by the occasion. Had a decent penalty shout that some refs would have given, was definitely clipped, but may have pushed the ball too far away from him for it to be a legitimate shout. Given time he looks like a good prospect in the Carrick mold. 6
Sears: No service, and when he had the ball his back was to goal. Really needs to start ahead of Di Michele as he can at least get the ball at his feet and not lose it straight away. 4
Uuuuugh
No man of the match or anyone that really stood out on our side then. The lads did well in the fact that they tried to play good football when they could, and we did knock the ball about quite well at times with Faubert overlapping on the right. But we really don't look dangerous going forward, and we're still lacking that invention that we need in the midfield. I'd move Faubert up to right wing, and tuck Behrami (if fit) in the centre of midfield, at least he looks to go forward when he gets the ball. Etherington has to play a more traditional left wing role, or he has to be excluded from the third striker position and someone else (possibly on the right) should replace him. I think Zola's concept of having two strong left footed players up front was good, but it isn't working because Matty is just getting lost out there. Let's give the role to Faubert for a game, or just go back to 4-4-2 with two advancing wingers.
Enough knee jerking for now, maybe more to come if I bring myself to do it, I really just need a 6-0 win.
29 October, 2008
Gunned Down
Sunday Bloody Sunday
I’m not doing player reviews today, because I thought the whole team did really well. We showed a ton of grit and determination, and I think it should be obvious to all that the game changer was the introduction of Emmanuel Barnyarddoor, and that the loss really was at little to no fault of our boys – they did us proud against an excellent team, and had the objective of the game been to get the ball to hit as many Arsenal players’ hands in the box as possible, then we may well have got something from this one.
“But T.I.C. they played much in the same manner as they did against Hull, and the statistics were probably worse than those demonstrated against Hull”, I hear you say. Yes, but remember my good friends (sorry I’ve been watching McCain speeches for too long), that Arsenal are a team of much greatness and have been in contention for the title for the last decade, Hull certainly have not, unless of course you’re talking about their rugby team or the greatness of William Wilberforce.
So well done boys, I’m proud of you. The passing was very good in most places, and we even looked dangerous at times…Parker’s through-ball to Bellamy alone was enough to make this performance better than the one against Hull.
Lucas Neill's Take Aways
Some things of note from the Arsenal game…
1) Faubert is not a right-back.
2) Collins made the fastest transition from recovery to match fit ever.
3) Di Michele looks 5 years younger than what he is, and moves like he is 52 years older than what he is.
4) Greeny plays better against Arsenal than any other team we face.
5) Ilunga is a legend.
6) Under Zola’s guidance Cole can now touch the ball three times without giving it away, but the fourth touch means it’s as good as gone.
7) Bellamy needs the ball played in front of him (it’s really always been known, but was highlighted here).
8) Bowyer CAN go a whole game without getting a yellow – maybe you just have to talk to him nicely!
9) Zola’s first phase of his reign is seeming to be taken as an experimental stage to see who he likes, as apposed to being a points based approach. There were loads of changes from last week, and Boa Morte even got some time on the pitch to do nothing.
10) I can’t think of a ten, but nine seemed to be a shitty number to leave this on.
Overall
We did well, even if we did lose. Special attention must go to Parker, Green, and Collins, who were obvious stand outs for us, and each had excellent games. Just behind them sees warm praise also go to Upson, Ilunga, and Bellamy, who put in good performances.
On the opposite end Boa Morte gets a -3 on the Boa Morte scale this week, Faubert still retains a 6 after an unfortunate and tricky own goal, Cole gets a 5 for losing the ball on his fourth touch EVERY time, and Di Michele get’s this week’s “Was He Even Fucking There Award” (WHEFT), which due to recent West Ham performances seems to be awarded on almost a weekly basis – so let’s just make it a weekly award so we can bask in it’s glory.
The referee gets an amazing 1 point for several reasons. Firstly, he was crap and dished out way too many cards in a mostly friendly derby, one of which being Cole’s red in the 94th minute (who does that?) for a challenge that was about as hard as a box full of kittens wrapped in cotton wool. Secondly, how many handballs were there in the Arsenal box? And thirdly, in my biased opinion there seemed to be a bias in the call making favouring the Arses, each 50-50 challenge was actually more like a 65-35.
Charge Of The Blight Brigade
Next up is Man U. They’re good and we’ll probably see our points blight continue. If you’re playing the pools I’d go home win.
Joking aside all I’m really looking for is another positive and unafraid performance that we saw against Arsenal. Cole will miss this one due to the red, therefore I’d like to see a Bellamy – Sears combo up front, with us reverting back to 4-4-2 with a midfield of Ethers, Parker, Bowyer, and Behrami (who is luckily back quickly). Collins should retain his place partly because of his excellent performance, but also because Neill is still out due to a virus that he picked up scavenging around the skips at the back of Tescos.
Cram In All The News That You Can With No Tie Ins
H is off to the Lane, I’m disappointed in him to be honest, and feel bad for the Pompey fans who have now seen him fuck off twice - I imagine that to some people that would be double the fun. I am looking forward to watching the circus as half of Pompey make their way to Tottenham in January though…and before you fret don’t worry this won’t mean extra competition, Portsmouth and Spurs will likely just trade places in the table by mid-February.
Maradonna is taking the helm at Argentina, he’s a twat.
Thanks to the good people over at The H-List, I’ve become aware that Dean Ashton has a blog, I suppose you need something to do if you’ve been out of work for two years. See here for Deano’s blog, and see the link on the left hand side for The H-List, definitely my favourite West Ham blog, and always a good read.
I’m not doing player reviews today, because I thought the whole team did really well. We showed a ton of grit and determination, and I think it should be obvious to all that the game changer was the introduction of Emmanuel Barnyarddoor, and that the loss really was at little to no fault of our boys – they did us proud against an excellent team, and had the objective of the game been to get the ball to hit as many Arsenal players’ hands in the box as possible, then we may well have got something from this one.
“But T.I.C. they played much in the same manner as they did against Hull, and the statistics were probably worse than those demonstrated against Hull”, I hear you say. Yes, but remember my good friends (sorry I’ve been watching McCain speeches for too long), that Arsenal are a team of much greatness and have been in contention for the title for the last decade, Hull certainly have not, unless of course you’re talking about their rugby team or the greatness of William Wilberforce.
So well done boys, I’m proud of you. The passing was very good in most places, and we even looked dangerous at times…Parker’s through-ball to Bellamy alone was enough to make this performance better than the one against Hull.
Lucas Neill's Take Aways
Some things of note from the Arsenal game…
1) Faubert is not a right-back.
2) Collins made the fastest transition from recovery to match fit ever.
3) Di Michele looks 5 years younger than what he is, and moves like he is 52 years older than what he is.
4) Greeny plays better against Arsenal than any other team we face.
5) Ilunga is a legend.
6) Under Zola’s guidance Cole can now touch the ball three times without giving it away, but the fourth touch means it’s as good as gone.
7) Bellamy needs the ball played in front of him (it’s really always been known, but was highlighted here).
8) Bowyer CAN go a whole game without getting a yellow – maybe you just have to talk to him nicely!
9) Zola’s first phase of his reign is seeming to be taken as an experimental stage to see who he likes, as apposed to being a points based approach. There were loads of changes from last week, and Boa Morte even got some time on the pitch to do nothing.
10) I can’t think of a ten, but nine seemed to be a shitty number to leave this on.
Overall
We did well, even if we did lose. Special attention must go to Parker, Green, and Collins, who were obvious stand outs for us, and each had excellent games. Just behind them sees warm praise also go to Upson, Ilunga, and Bellamy, who put in good performances.
On the opposite end Boa Morte gets a -3 on the Boa Morte scale this week, Faubert still retains a 6 after an unfortunate and tricky own goal, Cole gets a 5 for losing the ball on his fourth touch EVERY time, and Di Michele get’s this week’s “Was He Even Fucking There Award” (WHEFT), which due to recent West Ham performances seems to be awarded on almost a weekly basis – so let’s just make it a weekly award so we can bask in it’s glory.
The referee gets an amazing 1 point for several reasons. Firstly, he was crap and dished out way too many cards in a mostly friendly derby, one of which being Cole’s red in the 94th minute (who does that?) for a challenge that was about as hard as a box full of kittens wrapped in cotton wool. Secondly, how many handballs were there in the Arsenal box? And thirdly, in my biased opinion there seemed to be a bias in the call making favouring the Arses, each 50-50 challenge was actually more like a 65-35.
Charge Of The Blight Brigade
Next up is Man U. They’re good and we’ll probably see our points blight continue. If you’re playing the pools I’d go home win.
Joking aside all I’m really looking for is another positive and unafraid performance that we saw against Arsenal. Cole will miss this one due to the red, therefore I’d like to see a Bellamy – Sears combo up front, with us reverting back to 4-4-2 with a midfield of Ethers, Parker, Bowyer, and Behrami (who is luckily back quickly). Collins should retain his place partly because of his excellent performance, but also because Neill is still out due to a virus that he picked up scavenging around the skips at the back of Tescos.
Cram In All The News That You Can With No Tie Ins
H is off to the Lane, I’m disappointed in him to be honest, and feel bad for the Pompey fans who have now seen him fuck off twice - I imagine that to some people that would be double the fun. I am looking forward to watching the circus as half of Pompey make their way to Tottenham in January though…and before you fret don’t worry this won’t mean extra competition, Portsmouth and Spurs will likely just trade places in the table by mid-February.
Maradonna is taking the helm at Argentina, he’s a twat.
Thanks to the good people over at The H-List, I’ve become aware that Dean Ashton has a blog, I suppose you need something to do if you’ve been out of work for two years. See here for Deano’s blog, and see the link on the left hand side for The H-List, definitely my favourite West Ham blog, and always a good read.
20 October, 2008
Falling Through The Hull In The Cracks
I've been to Hull, I actually rather liked it with its bevy of Northern birds without Mancunian accents, and I have to say I love going to Yorkshire video shops and renting T'Good, T'Bad, and T'Ugly. Of course I'm wrong with my facts, as my native Hullian uncle will tell thee, but either way Hull was a good laugh, and not too dissimilar from the East End with it's strong roots in the dockyards and industry. I suppose I'm admitting I have a soft spot for Hull, and there's only two games that I've been asking that they don't win...didn't they go and mess that up for me.
Not Much To Say
I can't really bring myself to say too much about this week's game. Over here in the States it was broadcast on Setanta at 10am. I piled on down my local boozer and ordered a nice egg and sausage breakfast. My waitress was pleasant, and had never seen anybody drink enough tea to give themselves heart palpitations after only the first 30 minutes of play - but if she knew more people who support such a frustrating team then this wouldn't have been a first for her. Needless to say my free refills of brew were the biggest plus of this Sunday, and ensured that I stayed up until about 3am as well, relentlessly smacking my head into my bedroom wall hoping that the result that had occurred 15 hours earlier had been some kind of dream, and at some point I would wake up, it would be 9am, and I'd be ready to take my pre-match/breakfast/blog shower.
Anyway, it was not to be, and I didn't wake up in a better, brighter world, but instead I realised I was fully awake in the nightmare that is the life of a West Ham fan. At times West Ham just totally take the piss out of you. A few weeks ago we all sat there bemoaning that Curbs' style of play wasn't the West Ham way; the ball wasn't on the deck, we weren't fluidly knocking it about, and generally our style of play resembled Wimbledon's circa 1743. Sunday though saw a West Ham team, fully energised from Zola's week long lecture on trigonometry, come out and play triangles for about 80 of the 90 minutes of play available. Which would be fine, if you can convert a couple of those diagonal passes into shooting opportunities - which of course we really didn't - compare an 85.5% passing success rate with only 1 shot on target and 8 shots total.
While much of this was due to Hull's deep back line, which really prevented any penetration before the 18 yard box, we must also look at our own ineptitude to produce anything imaginative or clear cut in our whole 90 minutes on the field, or in fact be be able to finish when presented with a semi-decent chance; take Carlton Cole hitting the bar from 5 yards out after beautifully turning a defender (is that possible?), or Matty Etherington hitting the side netting with an open (but slightly tricky) chance, or any of our midfielders looking scared to cross the ball and preferring to knock the ball square. For a second, I actually thought we were Arsenal, always wanting to ignore the obvious choice (ie crossing the ball after skinning a defender by the by-line), for something more frustrating than watching Christian Dailly run the ball out of play for the 2,886,746,987th time.
The fact that Louis Boa Morte seems to have been implanted with a magnet to keep him stuck on the hard cold metal subs benches though is always a victory, and so with an instantly more cheery demeanour let's move on to the player analysis. Please be advised though that all ratings are off of the back of a caffeine induced haze.
Greeny: Claimed well in the air, although not the greatest positioning on the goal allowed. - 6
Faubert: Some decent movement, not as many crosses as normal, and still looks a bit timid at the back letting people get past him a bit too much. - 6
Upson: Didn't get on his man for the goal, wasn't goal-side of him. Apart from that pretty solid. - 5.5
Neill: Obviously jet-lagged after returning from Oz duty as he lost all of his pace and looked unusually slow and sluggish. Just kidding, Neill's cure for avoiding jet-lag is eating his way into a calorie induced coma for those long haul flights ensuring his performances are consistently lacklustre no matter where in the world he is. - 5.5
Um-Bongo: Attack minded again, and even cheekily (though deemed illegally) took the ball from the keeper when he was dropping it to kick and sublimely scissor kicked a lob into the net. He'll be a firm crowd favourite in no time! - 6.5
Defence Overall: Not bad, middle two still look a bit too slow, Faubert still not the fully qualified right back. Illunga however is stamping his mark on left back after another positive performance. Overall still a little shaky at the back, and it will be nice to have some competition for places there after a few more injuries come back - is there any news on that?
Pepperami: Work rate was ok, largely unnoticeable to the caffeinated viewer. - 6
Parker: Not his worst performance by far, but his passing radius didn't break 5 yards. Seems to be opposed to making crop circles like he used to though. - 6
Noble: We need Nobes to be the inventive creator, we desperately need him to play the same way that the press think Fank Wankhard plays with clever passes and crashing runs. He showed some decent glimpses on Sunday but things just didn't want to open up for him. - 6
Etherington: I believe that Zola thinks Matty is West Ham's Gerrard, a player that is magic when not given a defined role. Where the fuck does he play anymore, because I ain't seeing him on the left! That aforementioned chance he missed by the way...on the right hand side of the goal. Matt, your right peg is your weaker one. - 6
Midfield Overall: Good mostly, but no invention or killer edge in the final third. Triangles, triangles, and more triangles.
Cole: Had our best chance when he craftily spun off of a defender in the box and fired so high that the ball struck Jesus in the head. Steady, and as always tried hard, but he's no George Best, except when driving. - 6
Bellamy: I'm happy he started, mainly so that his appearances for West Ham can at least total more than his appearances for Wales whilst he's been at UP, and I don't have to go off on one about that. Bellamy's at his best when the ball is laid in front of him, Hull's back four played too deep for that to really happen, plus he was played between Cole and the midfield. Got involved a lot though, and filled in for Etherington's absence
quite a lot. - 6.5
Strikers Overall: Give credit to Hull, they defended well and we had little to go on, especially with a midfield on the day with the attacking edge of a butter knife.
Subs
Sine: Unnoticeable. - 4
Cosine: Unnoticeable. -4
Tangent: Didn't feature.
Even if frustrating to watch, this is what we subscribe to when we become West ham fans. On a different day, that performance would have produced a 6-0 thumping. I mean we kept the ball for large periods of time, looked mostly confident in our ability, and looking at both team's tactics, you would have thought we were at home. Fair play to Zola as well, he went for it, we ended the game with 4 recognised strikers on the pitch looking for an equaliser.
Magic Juande
I'll leave you now in a way that should make you sleep at night much more comfortably even if West Ham are losing...
My friends, Spurs are devastatingly bad, and it's amazing to watch. 2-1 loss to Stoke City with two sendings off. I love it, I love it, I love it. 2 points from 8 games, did we mishear their fans? Did they mean to say they'd be taking the bottom four by storm? If this continues at least until December, then I've already got my Christmas present, thanks Spurs.
Not Much To Say
I can't really bring myself to say too much about this week's game. Over here in the States it was broadcast on Setanta at 10am. I piled on down my local boozer and ordered a nice egg and sausage breakfast. My waitress was pleasant, and had never seen anybody drink enough tea to give themselves heart palpitations after only the first 30 minutes of play - but if she knew more people who support such a frustrating team then this wouldn't have been a first for her. Needless to say my free refills of brew were the biggest plus of this Sunday, and ensured that I stayed up until about 3am as well, relentlessly smacking my head into my bedroom wall hoping that the result that had occurred 15 hours earlier had been some kind of dream, and at some point I would wake up, it would be 9am, and I'd be ready to take my pre-match/breakfast/blog shower.
Anyway, it was not to be, and I didn't wake up in a better, brighter world, but instead I realised I was fully awake in the nightmare that is the life of a West Ham fan. At times West Ham just totally take the piss out of you. A few weeks ago we all sat there bemoaning that Curbs' style of play wasn't the West Ham way; the ball wasn't on the deck, we weren't fluidly knocking it about, and generally our style of play resembled Wimbledon's circa 1743. Sunday though saw a West Ham team, fully energised from Zola's week long lecture on trigonometry, come out and play triangles for about 80 of the 90 minutes of play available. Which would be fine, if you can convert a couple of those diagonal passes into shooting opportunities - which of course we really didn't - compare an 85.5% passing success rate with only 1 shot on target and 8 shots total.
While much of this was due to Hull's deep back line, which really prevented any penetration before the 18 yard box, we must also look at our own ineptitude to produce anything imaginative or clear cut in our whole 90 minutes on the field, or in fact be be able to finish when presented with a semi-decent chance; take Carlton Cole hitting the bar from 5 yards out after beautifully turning a defender (is that possible?), or Matty Etherington hitting the side netting with an open (but slightly tricky) chance, or any of our midfielders looking scared to cross the ball and preferring to knock the ball square. For a second, I actually thought we were Arsenal, always wanting to ignore the obvious choice (ie crossing the ball after skinning a defender by the by-line), for something more frustrating than watching Christian Dailly run the ball out of play for the 2,886,746,987th time.
The fact that Louis Boa Morte seems to have been implanted with a magnet to keep him stuck on the hard cold metal subs benches though is always a victory, and so with an instantly more cheery demeanour let's move on to the player analysis. Please be advised though that all ratings are off of the back of a caffeine induced haze.
Greeny: Claimed well in the air, although not the greatest positioning on the goal allowed. - 6
Faubert: Some decent movement, not as many crosses as normal, and still looks a bit timid at the back letting people get past him a bit too much. - 6
Upson: Didn't get on his man for the goal, wasn't goal-side of him. Apart from that pretty solid. - 5.5
Neill: Obviously jet-lagged after returning from Oz duty as he lost all of his pace and looked unusually slow and sluggish. Just kidding, Neill's cure for avoiding jet-lag is eating his way into a calorie induced coma for those long haul flights ensuring his performances are consistently lacklustre no matter where in the world he is. - 5.5
Um-Bongo: Attack minded again, and even cheekily (though deemed illegally) took the ball from the keeper when he was dropping it to kick and sublimely scissor kicked a lob into the net. He'll be a firm crowd favourite in no time! - 6.5
Defence Overall: Not bad, middle two still look a bit too slow, Faubert still not the fully qualified right back. Illunga however is stamping his mark on left back after another positive performance. Overall still a little shaky at the back, and it will be nice to have some competition for places there after a few more injuries come back - is there any news on that?
Pepperami: Work rate was ok, largely unnoticeable to the caffeinated viewer. - 6
Parker: Not his worst performance by far, but his passing radius didn't break 5 yards. Seems to be opposed to making crop circles like he used to though. - 6
Noble: We need Nobes to be the inventive creator, we desperately need him to play the same way that the press think Fank Wankhard plays with clever passes and crashing runs. He showed some decent glimpses on Sunday but things just didn't want to open up for him. - 6
Etherington: I believe that Zola thinks Matty is West Ham's Gerrard, a player that is magic when not given a defined role. Where the fuck does he play anymore, because I ain't seeing him on the left! That aforementioned chance he missed by the way...on the right hand side of the goal. Matt, your right peg is your weaker one. - 6
Midfield Overall: Good mostly, but no invention or killer edge in the final third. Triangles, triangles, and more triangles.
Cole: Had our best chance when he craftily spun off of a defender in the box and fired so high that the ball struck Jesus in the head. Steady, and as always tried hard, but he's no George Best, except when driving. - 6
Bellamy: I'm happy he started, mainly so that his appearances for West Ham can at least total more than his appearances for Wales whilst he's been at UP, and I don't have to go off on one about that. Bellamy's at his best when the ball is laid in front of him, Hull's back four played too deep for that to really happen, plus he was played between Cole and the midfield. Got involved a lot though, and filled in for Etherington's absence
Strikers Overall: Give credit to Hull, they defended well and we had little to go on, especially with a midfield on the day with the attacking edge of a butter knife.
Subs
Sine: Unnoticeable. - 4
Cosine: Unnoticeable. -4
Tangent: Didn't feature.
Even if frustrating to watch, this is what we subscribe to when we become West ham fans. On a different day, that performance would have produced a 6-0 thumping. I mean we kept the ball for large periods of time, looked mostly confident in our ability, and looking at both team's tactics, you would have thought we were at home. Fair play to Zola as well, he went for it, we ended the game with 4 recognised strikers on the pitch looking for an equaliser.
Magic Juande
I'll leave you now in a way that should make you sleep at night much more comfortably even if West Ham are losing...
My friends, Spurs are devastatingly bad, and it's amazing to watch. 2-1 loss to Stoke City with two sendings off. I love it, I love it, I love it. 2 points from 8 games, did we mishear their fans? Did they mean to say they'd be taking the bottom four by storm? If this continues at least until December, then I've already got my Christmas present, thanks Spurs.
14 October, 2008
FTSE Dow, Football Up
Now that I've finally got some motivation and I've stopped sobbing about the relentless decline of the Dow Jones (he's an odd Welshman) I've decided to write a bit, so I think I'll start with the England game the other day. We won, which was nice, and in quite convincing fashion (at least in the last 30 minutes). It was also pleasing to see just how shite Ashley Cole is too, and how Chelsea have ruined yet another Englishman. Hyperbole, maybe, but fuck it I really do dislike Chelsea, and it seems quite obvious to me how Wright-Phillips and Glenn Johnson along with others like Sidwell and even our own Scott "the torso" Parker have been held back at international level by not getting enough playing time at home. Is there any doubt that no England player selected should ever ever ever ever ever be someone on a club team's bench. The only exception I can fathom is when Owen was at Real Madrid and knocking in more goals per minute on the pitch than Ronaldo and Raul. Anyway yeah Cole was pants, not just for the back pass but 3 of the Kazak's best chances were all due to his bad positioning or error in tackling; at times he left the defence as wide open as Cheryl Tweedy's legs.
The game also saw the reintroduction of Steve Gerrard and Frank Wankhard together in the midfield which was particularly interesting after Wankhard's comments to the press a few days before the game saying that he and Gerrard haven't played well together. The two hardly set the world alight with their display, and against better opposition may have been exposed more. Wankhard did enough by passing quite well and staying away from the Kazak's pie-eating contest by the dug-out, Gerrard tried to do too much and lost out a number of times by trying to force things along - he is possibly sensing his place slipping after being out through injury. So everybody will now go back and start picking sides again, which one is better blah blah blah, I'm going with Gerrard and don't feel like saying why, so there.
Heskey returned to the fray, and I quite predictably shit myself upon announcement that he would be starting. Fair play to him he gets on with everything he's told to do except score goals - he has a staggering 5 goals from 47 appearances, of which only two were in non-friendly games, of which one was in the 5-1 drubbing of Germany - and in that game my Nan got a goal, which you should recall was wiped out when FIFA found her Irish passport and questioned her ability to represent England. She had argued that she thought Germany were letting in goals "for a laugh" that day, but FIFA were having none of it.
My rather drawn out point is what the fuck is Emile Heskey doing in an England shirt? I don't question his commitment, but there has to be someone better out there to partner Rooney. Heskey has scored once this season, and that was against newly promoted Hull City (Christ I hope I haven't jinxed this Sunday), even Carlton Cole has done better than that, in fact he's done better than that in the last two games he's played. Defoe, Davies, Owen, Agbonglahor, and Cole all have more goals than he does this season, and all of them have at least equalled (if not surpassed) his massive contribution of 3 goals for his club last year - his selection is pure insanity and makes no sense to me, the only person I see him assisting (if that's your argument) is Owen, but Rooney isn't a "knock it down for me" player, he's not a poacher, he's a craft and graft talisman. Capello, if this blog is your required reading in your English language college class, please please please stop selecting Heskey in your squad; both he and David James are hardly the future of English football.
On a brighter note Matty Upson got a full 90 minutes and played really well. He was solid at the back sticking in a couple of tackles, and if I remember correctly he distracted the keeper for Rio's goal, and was within two touches of the ball in two of the other goals. Well done to "the rock," his display was encouraging for Capello I'm sure, and in my biased mind he proved he is worth an appearance if not a start in the next international fixutre.
Overall I thought it was a decent performance from England, and the amount of goals you'd expect against a team of Kazakhstan's calibre. But fair play to the Kazaks, they came to Wembley and did well against a far superior team, took to the pitch without a single mention of Borat, and did their country proud by putting in a steely performance only to be outdone by fitness levels and amount of possession. And at the end of the day I bet their team know where our country is and can probably name our capital, bet our players can't do the same for them - minus the genius that is Robert Green, I mean he probably runs a shelter over there or something, you know how he is.
The game also saw the reintroduction of Steve Gerrard and Frank Wankhard together in the midfield which was particularly interesting after Wankhard's comments to the press a few days before the game saying that he and Gerrard haven't played well together. The two hardly set the world alight with their display, and against better opposition may have been exposed more. Wankhard did enough by passing quite well and staying away from the Kazak's pie-eating contest by the dug-out, Gerrard tried to do too much and lost out a number of times by trying to force things along - he is possibly sensing his place slipping after being out through injury. So everybody will now go back and start picking sides again, which one is better blah blah blah, I'm going with Gerrard and don't feel like saying why, so there.
Heskey returned to the fray, and I quite predictably shit myself upon announcement that he would be starting. Fair play to him he gets on with everything he's told to do except score goals - he has a staggering 5 goals from 47 appearances, of which only two were in non-friendly games, of which one was in the 5-1 drubbing of Germany - and in that game my Nan got a goal, which you should recall was wiped out when FIFA found her Irish passport and questioned her ability to represent England. She had argued that she thought Germany were letting in goals "for a laugh" that day, but FIFA were having none of it.
My rather drawn out point is what the fuck is Emile Heskey doing in an England shirt? I don't question his commitment, but there has to be someone better out there to partner Rooney. Heskey has scored once this season, and that was against newly promoted Hull City (Christ I hope I haven't jinxed this Sunday), even Carlton Cole has done better than that, in fact he's done better than that in the last two games he's played. Defoe, Davies, Owen, Agbonglahor, and Cole all have more goals than he does this season, and all of them have at least equalled (if not surpassed) his massive contribution of 3 goals for his club last year - his selection is pure insanity and makes no sense to me, the only person I see him assisting (if that's your argument) is Owen, but Rooney isn't a "knock it down for me" player, he's not a poacher, he's a craft and graft talisman. Capello, if this blog is your required reading in your English language college class, please please please stop selecting Heskey in your squad; both he and David James are hardly the future of English football.
On a brighter note Matty Upson got a full 90 minutes and played really well. He was solid at the back sticking in a couple of tackles, and if I remember correctly he distracted the keeper for Rio's goal, and was within two touches of the ball in two of the other goals. Well done to "the rock," his display was encouraging for Capello I'm sure, and in my biased mind he proved he is worth an appearance if not a start in the next international fixutre.
Overall I thought it was a decent performance from England, and the amount of goals you'd expect against a team of Kazakhstan's calibre. But fair play to the Kazaks, they came to Wembley and did well against a far superior team, took to the pitch without a single mention of Borat, and did their country proud by putting in a steely performance only to be outdone by fitness levels and amount of possession. And at the end of the day I bet their team know where our country is and can probably name our capital, bet our players can't do the same for them - minus the genius that is Robert Green, I mean he probably runs a shelter over there or something, you know how he is.
07 October, 2008
The Boy Is Back In Town
I've been away for a bit and unable to write, so I apologise. Took a bit of a tour, and managed to cram in a gig by The Rumble Strips, who I highly recommend watching, good live act, and all very chatty after the show.
So there's just so much to catch up with that I just can't be arsed to do it now; in the mean time please check out The Turning on the new Oasis album - excellent track (even if it rounds out with a riff blatantly taken from The Beatles' "Dear Prudence") - enjoy!
So there's just so much to catch up with that I just can't be arsed to do it now; in the mean time please check out The Turning on the new Oasis album - excellent track (even if it rounds out with a riff blatantly taken from The Beatles' "Dear Prudence") - enjoy!
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