Gunned Down

Sunday Bloody Sunday

I’m not doing player reviews today, because I thought the whole team did really well. We showed a ton of grit and determination, and I think it should be obvious to all that the game changer was the introduction of Emmanuel Barnyarddoor, and that the loss really was at little to no fault of our boys – they did us proud against an excellent team, and had the objective of the game been to get the ball to hit as many Arsenal players’ hands in the box as possible, then we may well have got something from this one.

“But T.I.C. they played much in the same manner as they did against Hull, and the statistics were probably worse than those demonstrated against Hull”, I hear you say. Yes, but remember my good friends (sorry I’ve been watching McCain speeches for too long), that Arsenal are a team of much greatness and have been in contention for the title for the last decade, Hull certainly have not, unless of course you’re talking about their rugby team or the greatness of William Wilberforce.

So well done boys, I’m proud of you. The passing was very good in most places, and we even looked dangerous at times…Parker’s through-ball to Bellamy alone was enough to make this performance better than the one against Hull.


Lucas Neill's Take Aways

Some things of note from the Arsenal game…
1) Faubert is not a right-back.
2) Collins made the fastest transition from recovery to match fit ever.
3) Di Michele looks 5 years younger than what he is, and moves like he is 52 years older than what he is.
4) Greeny plays better against Arsenal than any other team we face.
5) Ilunga is a legend.
6) Under Zola’s guidance Cole can now touch the ball three times without giving it away, but the fourth touch means it’s as good as gone.
7) Bellamy needs the ball played in front of him (it’s really always been known, but was highlighted here).
8) Bowyer CAN go a whole game without getting a yellow – maybe you just have to talk to him nicely!
9) Zola’s first phase of his reign is seeming to be taken as an experimental stage to see who he likes, as apposed to being a points based approach. There were loads of changes from last week, and Boa Morte even got some time on the pitch to do nothing.
10) I can’t think of a ten, but nine seemed to be a shitty number to leave this on.


Overall

We did well, even if we did lose. Special attention must go to Parker, Green, and Collins, who were obvious stand outs for us, and each had excellent games. Just behind them sees warm praise also go to Upson, Ilunga, and Bellamy, who put in good performances.

On the opposite end Boa Morte gets a -3 on the Boa Morte scale this week, Faubert still retains a 6 after an unfortunate and tricky own goal, Cole gets a 5 for losing the ball on his fourth touch EVERY time, and Di Michele get’s this week’s “Was He Even Fucking There Award” (WHEFT), which due to recent West Ham performances seems to be awarded on almost a weekly basis – so let’s just make it a weekly award so we can bask in it’s glory.

The referee gets an amazing 1 point for several reasons. Firstly, he was crap and dished out way too many cards in a mostly friendly derby, one of which being Cole’s red in the 94th minute (who does that?) for a challenge that was about as hard as a box full of kittens wrapped in cotton wool. Secondly, how many handballs were there in the Arsenal box? And thirdly, in my biased opinion there seemed to be a bias in the call making favouring the Arses, each 50-50 challenge was actually more like a 65-35.


Charge Of The Blight Brigade

Next up is Man U. They’re good and we’ll probably see our points blight continue. If you’re playing the pools I’d go home win.

Joking aside all I’m really looking for is another positive and unafraid performance that we saw against Arsenal. Cole will miss this one due to the red, therefore I’d like to see a Bellamy – Sears combo up front, with us reverting back to 4-4-2 with a midfield of Ethers, Parker, Bowyer, and Behrami (who is luckily back quickly). Collins should retain his place partly because of his excellent performance, but also because Neill is still out due to a virus that he picked up scavenging around the skips at the back of Tescos.


Cram In All The News That You Can With No Tie Ins

H is off to the Lane, I’m disappointed in him to be honest, and feel bad for the Pompey fans who have now seen him fuck off twice - I imagine that to some people that would be double the fun. I am looking forward to watching the circus as half of Pompey make their way to Tottenham in January though…and before you fret don’t worry this won’t mean extra competition, Portsmouth and Spurs will likely just trade places in the table by mid-February.

Maradonna is taking the helm at Argentina, he’s a twat.

Thanks to the good people over at The H-List, I’ve become aware that Dean Ashton has a blog, I suppose you need something to do if you’ve been out of work for two years. See here for Deano’s blog, and see the link on the left hand side for The H-List, definitely my favourite West Ham blog, and always a good read.